Tuesday, January 11, 2011


Through no fault of my own, I often find myself reading the headlines on MSN.COM and as often as not, the titles start off with the words: The Top Ten .....the top ten recipes for Superbowl dip, or ..... the top ten ways to tell your boss he has bad breath ..... or, ....jobs you can do from your own computer and make $200,000.00 a year....or my favorite...the top ten salons to get a Brazilian Bikini Wax... And so on and so forth.

I am guessing market research suggests such titles enhance the readership of stories on the internet. The NY Times has not caught up to this trend...yet. Probably that has more to do with momentum and the difficulty of change within that corporate culture than journalistic integrity. 

When I log out of my email account, I am not fully logged out before MSN.COM replaces my email screen, and THAT is why it is no fault of my own that I often find myself reading the headlines on MSN.COM. I do not like unresolved phrases such as this post starts with and it is easier for me to add this useless paragraph rather then edit the first paragraph. That's blogging folks. Two days and I am an expert in this field. Actually, editing the first paragraph would have been easy enough, but since I am being paid by the word, size matters, and this is much longer.

Back to our headline story....but first, I must admit ahead of time that I have outright stolen these ideas from the P-I SEAHAWKS FORUM. I am about to clean them up a bit and put them in some order. Not necessarily any order from which sense can be made, but (here I will digress a bit) words and sentences just like life must maintain temporal order. One thing always follows another. Call it a law of nature. I would prefer to throw these ideas at you simultaneously, but that ain't gonna happen.

So here are the TOP TEN (number and reasons subject to change at anytime without warning or justification) REASONS THE SEAHAWKS WILL PUT A HURT ON THE CHICAGO BEARS.

1) Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler has never played in an NFL Playoff game. Since 2003, first time starting quarterbacks are 5-19 in the playoffs. Some of those losers were better men than Jay Cutler, too. Aaron Rodgers, Matt Ryan, Philip Rivers, Eli Manning, and Drew Brees populate that list. Which among them is actually a better QB than Cutler is worthy of a whole other "TOP TEN...." post.

2) "Teams fresh off of Wild Card wins with experienced QB's come in hotter and with more momentum than the seeds with a bye week...." This idea was contributed by CharlieCobra (many of the posters on the P-I SEAHAWKS FORUM use animal names for some reason, so thanks Cobra for the contribution towards this story). CharlieCobra goes on to say, "I always hated the bye weeks before a playoff game. Just like I hated the "we don't play our starters to prevent injury" BS. Rust builds quickly in the NFL. Also, Carrol will have the Hawks mighty hungry now that it appears the team finally bought into what he's selling."

Wow, now I realize that this guy has played the game before and even reached the playoffs in peewee league. Just kidding, Charlie. Who CharlieCobra is in real life is one of the great mysteries of the internet. Or, I mean, represents one of the great and absurd things about the internet. You can pretend to be anyone you want to be. You can say almost anything without retribution. You can claim to be a superhero and no one can prove otherwise. Currently, I am pretending to be a funny sports writer.

I can have as many personas as I want or can psychologically juggle. And so can you or CharlieCobra. Know your limits.

But getting back to football: I do not know how Charlie defines "...hotter" in his first sentence, but I am sure a case can be made using statistics to PROVE his point. Notice how the first reason the Seahawks are gonna put a hurt on Chicago relies on a statistic qualified by "since 2003". I am guessing "since 2000" might not have proved his point quite so convincingly. I also have this childhood memory of Joe Namath coming in and  winning the Super Bowl on his first try. Nevertheless, CharlieCobra comes across as believable to me, and he makes a great point. And contrary to the impression I gave above, I think THE VAST MAJORITY of people are exactly who they say they are on the internet and I tend to take them at their word until something raises a red flag.

3) From jeremiad: "Coach Carroll has this team much fresher than any other team left in the playoffs. From the limiting of contact, to the careful use of practice time, he shapes the entire preparation to keep the team with fresh legs. On the negative side, Okung had better tighten the chin strap.....a VERY good DE is looking to even a score.

I don't know where he gets his information, but I wish he would STFU. Doesn't he know  the covert department of every single NFL team uses spies to infiltrate just such forums to scour for useful tidbits of information JUST SUCH AS THIS? Next, these fans will be publishing the Seahawks playbook. Geesh.

4) jay cutler 16 int 9 fumbles bears lead nfl with 56 sacks allowed.

FYI I will not be checking those facts, and I may use them in another post without checking on their accuracy ever unless someone suits me or the like. This is what the internet is all about folks. Unreliable facts and no accountability - not to mention bad spelling. At the NY Times they correct their mistakes in small print on some back page no one reads a day or more after any errors. Or not. As they see fit. But us bloggers cannot be counted on to be quite so honorable. If you want the highest level of integrity you will want to have Le Monde flown in from Paris, but then you would probably notice your email box filling up with spam notices of Jerry Lewis film festivals. It's your call.

Bloggers are more about quantity then quality, and I do not make any apologies for it. Separating the wheat from the chaff is each readers responsibility, and so if you like what you are reading (for FREE with no commercial interruptions and blinding fast download times) then you will want to bookmark this page, and even tell your friends, relatives, and everyone on your email list to Bookmark this page, also.

I just impressed the hell out of myself with my ability to work that plug into a post about football.

5) We are familiar with the Bears and going into Chicago and playing them.

6) Clemons and Brock vs Chicago's weak O-line.

7) If Cutler gets pressured, he will make bad decisions.

8) Bears WR's don't scare me.

9) Bears may be rusty and come out slow and unprepared.

10) The Seahawks own the Bears: 8-4 (4-2 in Chicago).

and here is a bonus, which happens to be my personal favorite:

11) The Bears might be overrated.


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