Monday, January 17, 2011

IN DEFENSE OF A FREE* AND INDEPENDENT PRESS

As any casual observer can see, this blog is brought to you with no commercial interruptions or advertising of any kind. Our funding comes from grants provided by such enlightened businesses as BP (Beyond Petroleum) and the Sierra Club who is protecting our environment one tree at a time, and with donations by readers such as YOU. 


We have come to that time of the week where we take a short break from our regular programing, and make direct appeals to our readers to keep this blog financially strong so we can bring you news and opinions from around the globe enriching your lives with no commercial interruptions. 


This week we have a target of $5,000.00 per week in pledges from loyal readers such as yourself. While thinking about how deeply you can reach into your pocket to support this blogsite, and keep the content coming to you with no commercial interruptions think about some of that content now. Classic articles such as "Before I Go Crazy and Do Something Drastic" and "MY PSYCHOTIC NEIGHBORS" probably comes quickly to mind. Quality writing like this does not write itself. There is no software program which can amuse you like this. People must write our content, and those people must eat and buy fuel to heat their homes. And of course all of the people in the background making this blogsite one of the premier destinations on the World Wide Web also need to eat and keep warm. Electric bills, computer repairs, and plenty of coffee are just a few of the incidentals which nickel and dime this humble website into crushing debt. We are accepting French Roast Coffee, finely ground or whole beans, as direct contributions in lieu of cash. 


We have phone banks manned and ready to take your pledge. Thank you to the  students of Craig Middle School creative writing class for manning those phones, and do not forget that for the "Golden Blogger" level of pledge, you will receive an "I am a Soggyblogger Blog Sogger" T-shirt. Golden Blogger level pledges start at just $250.00 per week, and as an added bonus, Soggyblogger will give a one-time only, ten minute private chat to anyone making a  Golden Blogger pledge. But wait! That is not all! If you make your Golden Blogger pledge in the next 24 hours, to show our appreciation, you will receive a personalized thank you email from Soggyblogger himself. 


We understand that not all our fanatically loyal readers are financially flush - putting Golden Blogger membership beyond YOUR budget so we have many levels of pledges you can make. For a pledge of $100 per week, you will receive as our thank you gift a set of beautiful coasters with forest scenes brought to you by the Sierra Club who is saving our environment one tree at a time. There IS a limited supply of coasters, so hurry to get yours before they are all gone! Once they are all gone we will have to substitute some cute paper napkins supplied to us through our ongoing relationship with BP (The oil company with a conscience and an eye to the future, BP - Beyond Petroleum. For when all the oil is gone. "We are thinking ahead so you don't have to."


Keeping this blogsite entirely free of advertising is our goal. For over a week now, this site has maintained itself as a totally ad free zone, and we are sure our readers appreciate this fact. They also appreciate all of the hilarious antics of Soggyblogger and we know you VALUE this unique ad free entertainment brought into your home through the miracle of the internet. So we ask you now to pick up that phone and show us how much you value this blogsite by making the pledge which fits your budget and conscience. Please pick that phone up right now and tell any of those manning our phone banks how much you want to pledge. That phone number is: 907-555-1212. We also accept PayPal, certified checks made out to cash, and bearer bonds.


For pledges of less than $100 per week and exceeding $10 per week,  Soggyblogger will send you an email personally thanking you  for your generosity. However, to protect against computer generated spam programs taking advantage of this offer we will need to get your Visa card number to verify that you are human and above the age of 21. In accordance with our privacy policy, and several federal statutes, we will not sell your email address or Visa card number to anyone. Any increase in email spam you may notice will be entirely coincidental and beyond our control.


We will be returning to our regular programing brought to you ad free by grants made to us by our partners BP - Beyond Petroleum, the oil company with a conscience, and the Sierra Club who is saving our environment one tree at a time just as soon as we reach our goal of $5000.00 per week in pledges. 


I hear those phones starting to ring......

No comments:

Post a Comment